Not something you’d expect from the Welsh

An Irishman, a Scot, an Englishman and a Welshman all walk into a bar. No, that can’t be right, at least three of them must have been smart enough to duck.

Seriously though, of those four – which is the least bright? Did you say the Irish fellow? Shame on you. You’re not allowed to say that anymore. It’s racist. The Irish have their own box now to tick on forms. You can’t have said Scottish or English because they have different cultural stereotypes. So it must have been the Welsh guy. He must be the stupid one.

The thick Welshman was a new stereotype for me when I came over here. I had no idea. But it’s pervasive. I once had a long, long conversation in the first class smoking carriage of a train to York with a Welsh fellow. We traded secrets about how we’d played on our regional accents (I can still sound Southern if I want to) acted dumb and gotten away with – if not murder – then free bus fares and out of traffic tickets and used it to gain advantage in sales. How we laughed. How we garnered the sulking, resentful looks of the English on the train. Surely, they didn’t think the Welsh really were that stupid, surely they must have had some suspicions all along?

In an age of offense, there do still remain some groups it’s ok to pick at. Groups which it’s still OK to make fun of – like Redneck Southerners or Welshmen from the Valleys. Hey, it’s all for a laugh right?

Apparently so. The Adverstising Standards Agency has rejected a series of complaints about an ad which cast less than flattering light upon the Welsh intellect:

The advertising watchdog has rejected 21 complaints about a commercial which featured a Welsh team in a quiz show. Complainants said the advert for Welsh firm Brecon Five’s vodka presented Welsh people as of low intelligence.

It showed a woman called Jones getting a question about a philosopher right, before a voiceover that said: “That’s not what you’d expect from Wales”.

Hardy, har, har.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) ruled it was light-hearted and unlikely to cause widespread offence.

Well, it’s not likely to cause widespread offense outside Wales, I guess. I mean, I admit – I’m not offended and my mother’s maiden name is Welsh and all.

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And in other news from Wales, this story also struck me funny.

Warren Gatland [the new Welsh rugby coach] has dismissed the notion that there is a widespread drinking culture in Welsh rugby.

Mwwwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. ROFL, LMAO

That’s not what I’d expect from Wales. Or rugby players.

It’s political correctness gone mad, I tell you

Check this out. A man from Northern Ireland has been sentenced to 10 weeks in jail (suspended) for calling a Welsh woman English.

Apparently, being called English is a racial slur. Can I demand prosecution of the judges or magistrates who’ve handed down this silly sentence for declaring that being called English is offensive? They’ve offended me and my English son.

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Actually, I’m not that bothered about the English bit. What really bothers me:

The former lorry driver[Michael Forsythe], who is originally from Northern Ireland, but lives in Powys, Mid Wales, called Lorna Steele an “English bitch” during an argument after he collided with her parked vehicle in the Welsh market town of Newport in February.

Why is it OK for a probably big and burly trucker to hit a woman’s car and then call her a bitch. I’ll admit that “English” wasn’t the right label for the Welsh woman, but it’s hardly the end of the world. I’ll even grant that out of the mouth of someone from Northern Ireland, English does carry a bitter weight (whether they be Protestant or Catholic). But the hurtful, hateful part is indisputably calling that woman a bitch.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called Canadian*, and I’m tough enough to take it. I’ve been called Yank**, too – and while I do find that offensive, I haven’t called the cops yet. But I’d be worried if someone hit my car and called me a bitch. To use that word is aggressive and offensive in anyone’s book. It’s usually meant to offend and when used by big, strange men it’s usually meant to physically intimidate, too.

I’ve noticed this before. Why is it OK to be misogynistic – but even the slightest, tiniest touch of “racism” is deemed worthy of 10 weeks in the poky? I’m not calling for the use of gender-based slurs to go on the books as a crime (we’ve got more than enough “hate” legislation as it is). But I bet his use of the b-word went without comment.

I’m not defending Forsythe’s behavior. Far from it. He sounds like a nasty man. But I’m inclined to agree with him here:

Forsythe has attacked the prosecution as a waste of time and money, according to the Daily Mail newspaper.

“I find it unbelievable that I’ve been prosecuted for this,” he said. “I’ve travelled all over Europe as a lorry driver and never had any problems with anybody and now they’re officially calling me a racist.

“It’s political correctness gone mad.”

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* The Canadians, rather churlishly, do seem to take offense at being called American, so a lot of Brits use Canadian first since we Americans don’t seem to mind.

** As a Southerner, I really don’t like being called a Yank. But I usually just try to explain to the offender what they’ve done.

Fresh outrage

The Muslim “community” is up in arms again. Just metaphorically this time. There’s fresh outrage over a documentary – Undercover Mosque, which aired in January on the UK’s Channel 4.

The documentary is largely based on secret filming by a undercover reporter at Birmingham’s Green Lane mosque. It shows that some Muslim preachers are spewing hate. Hate for homosexuals, hate for Jews and Christians, and at the very least disrespect for women. (We are “deficient” – fathers should beat daughters who don’t don the hijab from around ten.) This same mosque claims to be working toward “community cohesion” – i.e. multicultural understanding, blah, blah, blah. But as the program shows, really a number of preachers are Saudi trained, Saudi subsidised and supported.

This was supposed to be a shocking expose. I missed it when it first came out in January. But I watched it this morning (See it here on YouTube) Can’t say that I found anything terribly shocking. Religious fundamentalists hold abhorrent, archaic views. Duh. I didn’t need to go to years of Church of Christ Bible study to work that one out. Some religious fundamentalists hold particularly militant and violent views (some of these preachers were filmed saying that Muslims should bide their time, wait for the right moment for the big jihad and establish the UK branch of the Islamic Caliphate – I’m paraphrasing). Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war.

I do understand that folks living with their heads in a kind of soft, fuzzy, lefty la-la multi-culti land might have found this shocking. “What – you mean evil isn’t an exclusively Western attribute?” Ha. I have to admit that while I don’t find the revelations particularly shocking, I do find them disturbing. I don’t want to live under Sharia law.

The outrage though – from some of those filmed – was that their comments were taken out of context. I doubt it. Sure, the documentary makers picked out the most inflammatory statements, but the statements were made. It would be like the highlights of a sermon being taped in your local church, but editing out the prayer list and information about next Sunday’s potluck.

And those filmed were given a right of reply.

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Here’s the outrageous bit.

Following the documentary, the police investigated. They may have investigated some of the nasty things that folks said. You can watch the show and judge for yourself, but only a few things sounded to me like they might have been direct incitement to violence – the rest were just deeply unpleasant. And yes, they might well fall foul of “stirring up hatred” – which is against the law. I don’t believe that should be against the law – stirring up an emotion. So we’ll let that pass without further discussion.

But the police also investigated the program makers:

After investigating 56 hours of footage, West Midlands Police said that it had been advised by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) that there was insufficient evidence to prosecute the broadcaster for stirring up racial hatred, but that selective editing had helped to create an impression of Muslim hatred.

And from the Metro:

Confirming that police had now made a formal complaint to broadcasting regulator Ofcom, Assistant Chief Constable Anil Patani said: “The priority for West Midlands Police has been to investigate the documentary and its making with as much rigour as the extremism the programme sought to portray.”

Stop just a moment and let that sink in. Someone spews hate. You film it. You do some necessary editing. It’s got to fit into an hour less commercials. You broadcast. It could certainly be argued that it’s in the public interest to broadcast this material. Some of the people filmed have advised or are associated with those who advise the government on community cohesion. It’s in the public interest to understand just what kind of community they’re hoping to cohere.

And then you get investigated by the police. Rigorously. For stirring up racial hatred.

And what lesson is in that? Investigate unpleasant elements in the Muslim community, get investigated yourself.

Cletus and cultural insensitivity

Baby Cletus had his first check up this week – and his first set of vaccinations. He’s been a bit fussy since they injected him with whatever it is they injected him with. I know there’s a lot of controversy about vaccinations and generally I believe in being the free rider wherever I can get away with it (let the other kids get vaccinations) but London is a dirty, dirty, dirty town and full of people who free ride, too. I’ve decided to get Cletus jabs for whatever’s going.

Cletus current favorite toy is a little blue bull with a bell inside him. Kick or hit the bell and hear the bull jangle. I’ve named it Shambo. Shambo was a hindu temple bull in Wales – who was the subject of much legal wrangling when the state wanted to slaughter the bull when he tested positive for bovine tuberculosis. There were several rounds of court appeals, but in the end Shambo lost his appeal in the highest court of the land and was extinguished by lethal injection just last week. Needless to say this was a little bit upsetting to many Hindus

Anyway, I’m trying to jolly Cletus along at the doctor’s; it’s a pretty stressful situation after all when Cletus punches the little blue bovine.

“Ooooh,” I cooed “Hit Shambo. Hit Shambo.”

The doctor jumped and started. Oops. Hindu. Holy Cow.

I’d just like to say I’m honoring the memory of Shambo with the little blue jingle bull.