Ruined

Cletus is just getting to the age where he likes some songs with hand motions. Like the Itsy-bitsy Spider.

My in-laws were visiting from Scotland this weekend and Cletus was fussing – bored, as usual. I suggested a bit of Itsy-bitsy spider. My father-in-law seized on the idea and began singing:

“The isky-whisky spider went up the water spout…”

What? Did he misspeak? Am I hearing that right?

“Down came the rain and washed the whisky out,”

Surely that’s just a horrible, horrible mistake. Itsy-bitsy means little. Isky-whisky sounds like some kind of bizarre Japanese Scotch cocktail.

I wanted to grab him by the lapels and say “Noooo!” But I wasn’t sure if it was his mistake or some kind of weird British version – and I also recognise that it might have seemed a tad rude if I’d done so. At any rate, I’ll keep singing itsy-bitsy and one day Cletus will say “No, granddad sing it right.” And then I can smirk.

-0-

Speaking of songs with hand motions, I don’t really know any more. There are hazy snatches of memory floating around my brain, remnants of my life as a four-year-old.

There is one song I remember, but I’m afraid it’s ruined. Little Rabbit Foo Foo:

Little Rabbit Foo Foo hoppin’ through the forest,
scoopin’ up the field mice and boppin’ ’em on the head

But my brother and I gave it alternate and very politically incorrect lyrics.

Little Faggot Foo Foo hoppin’ through the forest,
scoopin’ up the field mice and [the rest is really not appropriate for a family blog]

So, I tried to sing the original version. But our version, which made us laugh like drains as youth kept running through my head rendering me incapable of singing it right.